Victorious Pilot in the style of Dr Suess
by RexPlanner
Summary: My idea of what happens when Dan Schneider writes Victorious after reading, The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Suess Forgive me Dr. Suess. This is a major revision.
1. Chapter 1

**Victorious (pilot)**

In the Style of Dr. Suess

The curtain arises on a brand new show,

Dan Schneider is the writer, how bad could it go?

Dan is the Midas of children's TV

For everything he touches becomes gold, don't you see.

This show is about an L.A. family group.

A mom and a dad, and two girls in the troupe

Our story today opens in a living room where.

Tori Vega is examining a weird plant that is there.

Attached to the plant are items riddled with fungus.

A fillet of fish, and a bread, slice among us,

Tori's lab partner sits at a computer by "Pear"

To record all the data that Tori finds there.

The first mold, said Tori, is one that's on bread,

It's furry and mushy; did you hear what I said?

The other one here is a mold made of fish,

It is stinky and smelly and when touched it goes squish.

At this point the door to this cheery abode,

Is opened by Trina; who stomps in off the road.

I am so upset is her line as we meet her,

I have a new partner for my show at the theater,

Andrew Harris is his name from the tenth grade place,

They expect me to work with him in the big Showcase.

The big Showcase, Tori's partner says, what is that?

Tori said it's a show at the school she is at.

Trina said it's more than a show, oh yes so much more,

A regular show would be so much a bore.

Producers, directors, studio heads are invited,

And all the performers at school get excited!

It's a chance that they have to display all their wares,

In the hope that a contract; will someday be theirs.

The students perform at the top of their game,

In the hope to be noticed and to receive fame.

Trina, clearly upset just can't stand anymore

She walks Tori's science partner right out of the door.

Trina said, so you can see to prepare for my bout,

I must let Andrew in and must make you go out!

Tori said, Trina, we have a project that's due,

We must turn in this mold bush and we were not through!

Trina said; your mold bush will wait for some other day,

Andrew is coming, his music to play.

You must stay with us and help give us a clue,

Right now I don't know just what I will do.

I feel in my heart, that I want to go sing,

Andrew wrote a song, it may just be the thing!

The three of us need to work hard and to test,

The type of performance, to find what is best.

The doorbell rings and Trina says hey,

That must be Andrew, I'll get it; you stay.

Trina opens the door and tells Andre' come in,

Thank you says Andre with his big cheery grin.

Tori, that's Andrew, whom I spoke of to you,

_Andre,'_ Tori do you go to Hollywood Arts too?

Oh, no said Tori, I'm not one to perform,

My sister does that, and that is the norm.

Trina said, I got the talent but she got strong teeth,

When she visits the dentist her appointments are brief.

Tori said I try not to brag about that, it's so true,

I would much rather have a talent; like you.

Andre' puts down his knapsack, nice piano, it looks very fit,

Then he pulls out the bench, and sits down upon it.

Andre' sits at the piano and tickles the keys,

Tori sits down beside him getting weak in the knees.

Oh, my you are amazing is all she can say,

Trina says, I think he is merely ok.

While playing, an odor assails Andre's head,

He sniffs Tori's hand, Its fish mold, she said.

He drops her hand as if he was burned,

And he begins to play, the song that he learned.

For almost a week, Trina, Tori and Andre'

Prepare music and staging for the big show day.

When Andre first begins to play Trina his song,

She stops him and tells him that she thinks it's all wrong.

She wants him to go slow to show her range and her clarity,

Between all their opinions is a major disparity.

But Trina is the singer and so they do it her way,

And hope that despite hearing her, the audience will stay.

For though to say this is not to be tender,

But Trina can sing like two cats in a blender.

Their work must soon end, for the day of the show,

Is quickly upon them, ready, set, go!

Poor Trina though feels that she needs something extra,

To bolster her acting and singing, etcetera,

She gargles with herbs that cause an un thought of reaction,

And makes her tongue swell; to a major distraction.

Her parents and Tori are called to backstage,

And see for themselves the mess that she made.

Poor Andre' was hoping to close the event,

In a way that his grandma would be glad that she went.

Lane said there must be an option, is there anyone who,

Can sing Trina's part, and knows what to do?

Andre' said her sister is here and she knows the song,

Even better than Trina; unless I am wrong.

Lane said, get her ready, then on with the show,

Tori said. I'm no performer, don't ask _me_ to go!

Andre' said, you can do this, you dance and you sing,

Tori said, I don't go to school here, is that a bad thing?

Lane said bring her back. Get her something to wear,

A quick touch of make-up, a brush through her hair.

So Tori is changed, and in five minutes or less,

Is wearing pink sneakers, and a silver short dress.

Then Lane takes her over and shoves her onstage,

She feels she is trapped, like a bird in a cage.

Andre' whispers encouragement as she looks over to him,

Then he starts on the intro, and the house lights go dim.

One spotlight is aimed right on where she stands

She softly starts singing, stiffly moving her hands.

As Tori continues, the song she does master,

Then she motions to Andre' to make it go faster.

That is all that she needs, her song and dance for this section,

Soon begin to flow nicely, and to spark of perfection.

Her singing gets stronger; and her moves show such grace,

That a ripple of excitement soon builds in the place,

By the end of the song she is such a sensation.

The audience gives her a standing ovation.

The curtain comes down and the actors and crew,

Have praises for Tori, Lane and her parents do too.

While everyone is cheering with excitement, anew,

A man comes to Tori and says, Who, are you?

Tori Vega she says, and who might you be?

Principal Eickner; the school here is run, by me.

You don't go to school here he says, Is that true?

I would hope you'd consider it, this place can use you!

Oh I don't know said Tori; I don't think I'm that good.

You must reconsider, no really you should.

Now Andre' has heard of Tori's objection,

He raises the curtain for an audience connection.

Andre says Hey people, the girl who sang the last song,

Does not think she's good enough. Prove that she is wrong!

The crowd then explodes with applause and wild cheer,

Andre' looks at Tori and says well, do you hear?

This is the way that a Vega, named Tori

Came to Hollywood Arts, chapter one of the story!


	2. Chapter 2

In the previous chapter I thought the story was ended.

By popular demand, it must now be amended

Having wowed everyone with her song and her dance

Tori Vega was give the ultimate chance

Today is day one; after transferring schools,

Tori is ready to study a new set of tools

Tori is nervous, but sister Trina is there

Until she runs off to see a classmate's new hair,

Which leaves poor Tori all alone and just standing,

Until a red headed girl steps off the stair landing.

Excuse me, said Tori, but you see I am new,

And looking for my classroom, but I haven't a clue.

You're Tori the girl said, I know I can tell

You performed in the showcase and you did it quite well,

Aww thank you said Tori it was some kind of event,

My first time on stage, Trina should have been sent.

My name is Cat said the girl with hair of red sheen,

Like the animal, said Tori. What's that spo'sd to mean?

I like cats, said Tori, so do I they are cute

Ooh, lovely to meet you but now I must scoot.

But wait cried out Tori you still have not told me,

The way to my class, great, now who do I see,

But just as young Tori stared down at the floor,

A boy with a puppet walked in through the door.

Excuse me said Tori, what, oh hi hello,

Said Robbie you're female, now isn't that so

That is true said Tori, a female I am,

And if it is not too much trouble, I'm in a bit of a jam,

I am quite new here and I can't find my first class,

The teacher is Sikowitz; I need him to pass,

To find your first class, go north 30 paces,

The girl's not a pirate, said Rex making faces,

All your directions will do is just fool her,

Take this hall down to the water cooler.

Turn left at the cooler, second door on the right

You'll find Sikowitz class, be prepared for a sight

Thank you said Tori your directions are clear,

OK there cupcake, Tori turned, what did I hear?

That was Rex, Robbie said, please let it just pass,

It's lucky for him that I need to get to my class

Tori thought puppet or boy his directions are clear,

I just made the turn and the door is right here.

She entered the room seeking somewhere to set,

Then in walked Beck Oliver and the two of them met.

But not in a way that's conducive to flirt,

He carried a coffee and it spilled on his shirt.

Oh, but on the bright sight thought Tori I'm now rubbing his chest,

Until his girl Jade said hey give it a rest,

I'm sorry said Tori, but I just spilled his cup,

Keep rubbing his chest; they'll be picking you up

Beck is mine said Jade West, now stay far away,

She is just being friendly, Beck said, it's ok

But Tori retreated and sat in a seat

Right next to Andre, that boy is so neat

Then into the room burst a man, not too tall,

Who was yelling out something about a fire in the hall,

But just when the whole class leapt up from their sitting,

He hopped on the stage and cried out, I'm just kidding!

I wanted to be sure you were loose was his story,

We have much to do and a new student named Tori,

Improvisation is the topic our studies were at,

Tori, perchance would you know about that?

Well yes and no she said uncommitted,

And that would mean….. No she really admitted,

Ok then I will tell you real quick what it means,

You make your own dialog and your actions in scenes,

And now that you know what you must bring to a part,

Jade, pick out your actors and then let us start,

Jade made her way to the stage in a wink,

I'ii start off with Eli and Cat I should think,

Then Beck is a must if I'm in a story,

Oh, yes last but not least the new girl, come Tori,

Tori got slowly on up from her chair,

And wondered why Jade would want her up there,

Jade can't expect much, I am new at this all.

The Jade spoke and said, go wait in the hall

While Tori was waiting Beck started the play,

Hi Honey he said, I got fired today.

Oh no said the children, our dad's such a loser,

Kids he's you father, at least not a boozer.

But I have some news that will lighten this fog,

I went down to the pound and brought home a dog,

She led Tori out to the front of the cast,

That's me the new dog, and, woof she said last.

Sikowitz, yelled Jade, give this rookie a seat,

She speaks like a human, and stands on two feet!

Sikowitz paused from his coconut drink.

He furrowed his brow as he started to think,

Tori this acting experience for you is quite new,

You're playing a dog, do what a dog would do,

So Tori went down on her hands and her knees,

And looked like a dog, (well minus the fleas),

Though Tori's long hair was all clean and all clear,

Jade's character, mom, said there are bugs over here.

The children jumped back and cried out oh Ewwwww,

Then Jade with a smile, said I know what to do,

I read that coffee will kill bugs on dogs dead,

So she got some and poured it upon Tori's head

The classroom grew quiet; no one knew what to say,

Then Tori got up and went running away,

Andre leapt to his feet and headed out too,

He was worried about Tori and what she would do,

He found her in the hall with her phone to her ear,

She was calling her mom to pick her up here.

But Andre thought too much of her to let her just go.

So he snatched up her phone and said wait now, just whoa.

I have seen you onstage, saw you sing and then dance,

An encounter with Jade should not mess up your chance,

And while he was speaking up walked Rex, I mean Robbie

Your place is in class, he said not the lobby,

Cat followed soon after with another request,

Sikowitz wants us in class, he thinks that is best.

Enough Andre said go back to class, make it clear,

That I will be staying with Tori right here.

I want to make sure that that the events of this day,

Will not be enough to keep Tori away.

So Andre stayed there to help her ease some concern,

And got her to promise that she would return.


	3. Chapter 3

The first day for Tori at Hollywood Arts,

Was going quite well, until Jade gave out parts,

For a class exercise in improvisation,

And Jade assigned Tori the lowest of station,

A dog has advantages, no lines to be read,

But then Jade poured some coffee upon Tori's head

And now that she is home she has time to review

The events of the day and its making her blue

She seriously considered not going again.

But then she remembered Cat, Beck and Andre her friend,

She told sister Trina about the day that she had,

And Trina said go, or you'll make _me_ look bad

With that bit of advice or perhaps just in spite,

She planned to go give Jade West a good fight

The next day when Sikowitz class came around,

Tori tried to slip in without making a sound,

But Sikowitz saw her and said, Tori, hey,

Try coming in through the window some day.

She smiled at him making him think that she might,

But watching_ him_ do it was enough of a sight.

Improv is the topic again for today,

He said but we'll do it a different way,

The first letter of the word that starts each of your lines.

Will change alphabetically each of the times

Each actor must use the letter that's due,

If you make a mistake, sit down and you're through,

I now need a captain unafraid of the thrill

Of leading this class, Tori piped up I will!

You need four more members and your team will be made,

OK Cat, Beck, Andre and then of course, Jade

Sikowitz said, great now we need our first letter,

Robbie how about one to start this endeavor.

Before Robbie could speak Rex cries out use "P".

I wanted to say that, you're too slow for me,

We have our start letter now on with the show,

Tori you're commencing with "P" and now let it be so,

Please go and shower was Tori's opening line,

Quit telling me what I should do, I'll be fine

Relax girls said Beck, let's try to get along,

Totally said Cat, no I'm sorry, that's wrong

Salami, Cat tried again, but too late,

Your first answer Cat, has just sealed your fate

My life is the worst, poor Cat then lamented,

Here's a candy, Ooh, Candy Cat said and relented.

Andre, the letter "S" goes to you,

Something has bitten my toe, what to do?

Turtle, said Tori that turtle I see,

Is no doubt the cause of your toe's misery.

Unbelievable said Jade, that you even are here,

Very immature to say that, Beck's statement was clear,

What if my toe was broken by the bite,

X-Rays, said Tori, can see if it's right.

You should shut up, was Jade's answer to Tori,

Zap, your toe's healed added Beck to the story,

Thanks, said Andre, no "T" is all wrong,

Sikowitz said "A" was where you belong,

Andre walked off; well my toe feels like new,

Sikowitz cried out Tori "A" goes to you!

Aliens are the only ones, who can heal by their touch,

By the way, said Jade you're really too much.

Correct, Beck answered Tori, an alien am I

Ooh a twist, said Sikowitz, that's my kind of guy,

Don't hurt me said Tori, to Alien Beck,

Even though she's annoying, said Jade, a train wreck,

Fainting, said Beck, I can't breathe Earthly air,

Gosh, Tori said, the alien fell over there,

Excellent said Sikowitz, Tori, Jade keep it going,

"H" is the next letter, his excitement was showing,

Hey, said Jade why don't you jump off a cliff,

I think you should, a final end to our tiff,

Just where did you come from? Kangaroos, Tori said.

Lousy animals, awkward, dirty and better off dead

Maybe they learned their bad habits from you,

No one talks to me that way, that is true,

Obviously someone should was Tori's reply,

Please run in front of a bus, if I'm lucky you'll die,

Quite obnoxious of you to say, Tori said unrelenting,

Really? Sure was. Thaanks, now they were venting,

Up your nose I see boogers, Tori said smiling a bunch,

Very clever. Wish you thought of it, X marks the spot I would punch,

Your finger smells weird, wonder where it has been,

Zero is what you are on a scale one through ten,

And, back to the letter "A" Sikowitz cheered them on,

As if I care what you think, Tori said with a yawn,

Better watch yourself, Can't take it, Don't push me Jade shouted.

Eat, your pants, you eat yours, that is wrong Jade, you're outed!

Sorry, Jade, the next letter was… It was "F" yes I know!

That left only Tori and Beck in the show,

Look, said Andre' the alien is stirring,

Oh great, said Sikowitz another twist is occurring.

Keep the scene going, letter "G" is up next

Get up alien said Tori, have you had enough rest?

Head feels dizzy, Beck said as he stood,

Tori smiled, I think I know what will make you feel good,

Jumping Jacks, was all that came to Beck's head,

Kiss me, said Tori; Beck liked that instead,

Little weird, he replied, but that sounds pretty neat,

Meanwhile Jade had almost fallen off of her seat,

Tori's lips met with Beck's and she gave him a squeeze,

Man I love this school, close the curtain, now please.


End file.
